Reflections
by Hogwarts Duo
Summary: Albus Dumbledore awakens and reflects on the life he has led and what is truly important...his love for a certain witch. Minerva McGonagall could make the difference between a life lived in happiness or pain...which did he choose?


**_Reflections_**

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**Disclaimer: **Sadly, they don't belong to us…sniff sniff.

**Rating: **G****

**Summary: **Albus Dumbledore awakens and reflects on the life he has led and what is truly important...his love for a certain witch. Minerva McGonagall could make the difference between a life lived in happiness or pain...which did he choose?

Albus Dumbledore rolled over in bed and stared out of the large window beside his bed. It was a brilliant day outside. The sky was a perfect shade of the palest blue and the clouds that adorned it looked like fluffy cotton floating lazily about a crystal stream. The sun was shining in all its' glory, warming every blade of grass and every leaf of the trees, which were swaying to a gentle breeze. Birds were singing merrily as if they hadn't a care in the world and everything seemed perfect.

Sighing deeply to himself, the wizard was feeling every one of his years. He tried to stretch his weary bones but he found that his joints were slightly stiff from the long night of sleep. Several moments of careful shifting in bed allowed him the comfort of finally extending his limbs and placing his feet onto the floor. Making his way to his bathroom, he felt as if he had the world on his shoulders. And in some small way, he was bearing a heavy load on them.

In a way, he was sorry that he had ever opened his eyes on this particular day. He had no idea how he would ever make it through without losing his control. Even the great Albus Dumbledore had overlooked the possibility of something like this happening. She had always been there for him and now he was going to have to let her go. No amount of preparations could have made it any easier on him.

Without realizing it, Albus had started to go through the motions of dressing for the day. His hair had been neatly combed into the silver mane that she had always said was one of his best features. It flowed freely down his back like the finest silk threads and if the sunlight happened to catch it just right, it would shimmer like diamonds in the snow. She loved to taunt him in the wintertime, remarking on how easy it would be to mistake him for a snowman if only he would stand still long enough.

The long beard that had once been auburn had also been tamed and even shortened a bit. She had always teased him about getting it caught in his inkwell or spilling the accidental crumb from a cookie into it. He smiled fondly at the memory of her laughter the day she had startled him and he spilled an entire mug of chocolate into it. Thankfully, he had not been harmed by the steaming liquid, but his beard had been dirtied, making him look as if he had not washed it in weeks. To add to her delight, the staff began to arrive for their weekly meeting and he had to excuse himself to change robes and to cast a cleaning charm on his sticky beard.

Looking into the mirror, he noticed that his eyes seemed a bit dull today. She had been the reason for the sparkle that had resided in them for so long. Taking his half moon spectacles and washing them under the running water as a muggle might have done, he began to feel even bluer than his eyes.

He remembered the day that she had convinced him to see the medi-wtich about his headaches. She had noticed the pattern of his daily pains long before the thought entered his mind and she had guessed that he might need glasses. She had even gone with him for moral support, or so she called it. When he emerged from the examination, he informed her of the horrible news…he was getting older and needed glasses.

Together, they had gone through the process of choosing a pair that suited his distinguished face. He chuckled as he remembered the way she crinkled her button nose at his choices. She said that they all seemed too large for his face, hid his eyes, or were utterly atrocious in style and color. It had been her sharp eyes that had spotted the wire rimmed half moon spectacles that he still wore. She had been so keen on not hiding his lovely eyes that he vowed to never change the style, just for her.

Finishing up his morning ritual, he walked slowly and unhappily back into his bedroom. He knew that he could not stop the future but he sorely wished he did not have to participate in it. He had been very upset when he first heard the news and even though they told him that things would get better with time, he knew in his heart that they were all lies. He would never be able to get over Minerva McGonagall.

As a tribute to their long history together and out of a loving heart, he chose to wear something special today. He wanted to look his best, even as his heart was breaking. In looking through his closet, there were so many memories that flooded his mind.

_The green robes make you look like a pear, Albus._

_That is the most hideous shade of orange. No one in their right mind would wear that, of course we are talking about you, _she had told him through a fit of uncontrollable giggles as he inspected the material covering his body.

Albus Dumbledore, is everything you own a variant of the color purple? Although, I must admit that this particular shade does look rather flattering on you. He had felt his heart leap with joy upon hearing her compliment. And then there were the robes he had chosen for today.

With a faint smile playing about his lips, he remembered the day they bought them. She had agreed to go with him to Hogsmeade to get away from the school for an afternoon in the summer. They had shared so many laughs and it had been a truly relaxing time for both of them. One of his main reasons for visiting the bustling town had been to purchase some new robes for himself and he desperately wanted Minerva's opinion on his choices.

He had tried on several sets of dress and casual robes, each earning him an opinion from his most trusted colleague and friend. She had detested most of his choices but he had managed to find some that had not turned her stomach queasy. But as he emerged from the changing room in this last set, he was certain he would never forget the look in her eyes or the words she had uttered as he walked towards her.

_Oh Albus! Those are the most beautiful robes I think I have ever seen. And your eyes…you should see how they make them even bluer than the sky above. If you don't buy these, I may never speak to you again. _He had blushed at her words and yet when she spoke again, he wanted to kiss her right then and there in front of the entire world. _They make you look so incredibly handsome and distinguished. You'll have women falling at your feet when you wear these._

In truth, he had never wanted 'women' to fall at his feet. He had only ever truly desired one woman and she had been standing before him that particular day. As a tribute to her on this day, he would wear the royal blue robes made of silk. The ones with the silver trim at the hem and dark blue moons and stars embossed all across the fabric. The robes that she had admired…the ones that had turned her head and made her issue her approval. Sighing, he dressed and surveyed his appearance in the mirror. It was time to go.

As he entered the grand gardens just outside Hogwarts castle, he could hear the chatter of the witches and wizards that had been invited. He knew that some of them would look at him with sympathetic eyes and some would merely try to avoid looking at him at all. This would be the hardest day of his life…and that was saying something.

He slowly made his way to the front row of seats and took the one reserved especially for him. Oddly enough, it had been the one between Poppy Pomfrey and Xiomara Hooch. He couldn't help but notice a familiar sadness in their eyes as well, which puzzled him greatly. Before he had a chance to question them further, the ceremony had started.

A large lump formed in his throat as he stood at the appointed time with the rest of the guests. The garden had been decorated to reflect Minerva's tastes. Everywhere one looked, there were large stargazer lilies in full bloom. There were roses in almost every shade and variety, not to mention the hundreds of bluebells that had always been Minerva's favorite. Albus smiled as he reminisced on all the times he had filled her chambers with those dainty bluebells, either for her birthday, to cheer her up, or just to brighten her day. Her face has always lit up as she opened her chamber door to find her rooms transformed into a living, thriving Scottish garden. And he feared that he had seen that special light for the last time.

At the entrance to the garden stood the most alluring woman he had ever seen. Her creamy complexion was flawless. Not a blemish or a freckle could be found on the smooth skin despite her age. A slight coloring on her high cheeks and her luscious lips made it appear as if the roses themselves had kissed her and left a trace of their faint beauty. Her vibrant green eyes shimmered like the calm waters on a moonlit night, giving her the most expressive voice never to be heard. Her long hair, slightly gray with age, was pulled back. Not in her customary bun but in an elegant arrangement that held small sprigs of baby breath. And then there was the rest of her…in all her splendor.

The long gown that framed her shapely figure did nothing to hide her womanly curves. From the swell of her breasts to her slender waist down to the curve of her hips past her long legs, the silky white material seemed to cling in just the right spots. And yet when she moved, it seemed that she had nothing on at all for the gown moved with ever sway of her hips and ever step of her feet. To Albus, she looked like a fine porcelain doll that had been on display for the wealthiest of wizards to buy in the most expensive of shops. In his heart, he knew she was a living, breathing goddess among men and one that would forever be lost to him in a matter of minutes.

His eyes locked with hers and for the longest time he forgot to breathe. He felt as if she was reading his innermost thoughts, as she so often had accused him of doing with his piercing blue eyes. Now, he was the one who felt the intensity of a stare…her stare. She smiled radiantly at him as she neared the row of chairs where he was standing. He thought for a moment that she might alter her course and spend one last second in private conversation with him but then her eyes darted elsewhere. To the other man in the garden.

The man anxiously awaiting Minerva was looking at her with obvious love in his eyes. Albus had seen them together before and each time he couldn't help but think that something vital was missing from their relationship. Oh, the man was attentive enough but things just didn't seem right. Perhaps it was his own feelings that were clouding his judgment, for Minerva would never agree to marry unless her heart was committed. Of that he was convinced.

He was slightly older than Minerva, much closer to her in age than Albus could ever hope to be. His neatly cropped hair had once been black as coal but now it was peppered with just a hint of distinguished gray at the sides. His chocolate colored eyes held no sparkle in them but that did not diminish the love Albus felt certain that Minerva could see in them. After all, she had the ability to turn his blue eyes, which resembled a cool pool of the purest water, into a hot spring with a single glance.

The groom would certainly provide Minerva with everything a witch could ever want from life. He wasn't rich but he was certainly a wizard with comfortable means. He had made his small fortune as a specialist working for the Ministry of Magic. That had been how he had met Minerva. How many times recently had Albus cursed himself for asking Minerva to attend the special conference in his place? That had been where they first met and the relationship had grown from there.

But now, more then ever, Albus wished that he could trade places with someone else. He longed to be the man about to be bound in wedded bliss to the most attractive witch in the world. It no longer mattered that he was well respected among their peers or that he held several high-ranking positions within the governing body of witches and wizards. He cared not that his name struck fear in the hearts of his enemies and pride in the souls of his friends. For now, looking at the man he envied most in this world, he felt like he had nothing left in his world. No fame, no fortune, no friends, no happiness…nothing. And then as he caught sight of his beloved once again, he felt it all crash in upon him.

As she neared the front of those in attendance and they were invited to take their seats once more, Albus dropped into his chair. Inside, his heart was cracking and chipping into millions of tiny bits. Today, his heart was made of the finest glass and she had been the blunt instrument that had smashed it to pieces as she joined hands with the man in the garden. The one at the altar, waiting for his bride.

As the ceremony officially started, Albus remembered the day she had first entered his classroom, full of life and with dozens of questions and ambitions. His memories took him from that young girl to the amazing woman that had come to him in tears on her first day of teaching, thinking that she had chosen the wrong profession. Albus drifted into memories of various chess games, late night walks about the grounds and every single holiday they had spent together at Hogwarts. Birthdays, family gatherings, funerals, births, all the little and big things…they had shared them all…together. Over the years, he had fallen hopelessly and helplessly in love with her but in the end it had been his foolish fears that had been his demise. Instead of loving her as his heart demanded, he watched as she slowly gave up on him and made her life with another. Thus ending on this storybook day as she said the only words that could make him feel every single one of his long years lived on this earth…_I do._

Her voice ringing through the air and the declaration of the officiating wizard that they were now husband and wife, bound together for all eternity, snapped him from his musings. Sadness filled his eyes as he watched the man lean forward and capture her full lips with his own. A tear trickled down Albus' face as she stepped closer to her new husband and deepened their embrace for all their friends to see. He felt the world closing in about him. He wanted to run, to scream out, to pull her away from him and into his arms but all he could do was sit in stunned silence as her two best friends offered their comforting touches on his arm and back. They must've felt his pain, or at least guessed how much he was hurting. Life as he knew it had just ended. All that remained was to offer his congratulations and best wishes to the couple before they left on a honeymoon.

The Great Hall had been elaborately decorated and as he made his way to the happy couple, Albus couldn't help but glance at the head table where he had shared many laughs with Minerva over the years. Now, their banter would take on a different style and tone. No more flirting with her as he passed the salt or commenting on her dainty eating habits. Gone were the not so accidental brushes of his foot against hers and the longing sideways glances he had often been guilty of. Now, she belonged to another and even though they would remain friends, nothing would ever be the same again. He sighed heavily and walked towards her.

"Minerva, I have never seen you looking more radiant than you do today. I wish you every happiness that life has to offer." He saw her smile and then someone began shouting his name.

_Albus…Albus! ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE!_

"Alastor, it's no use. He's dead to the world. Go and fetch me a large pitcher of water and then send for Poppy through the floo network. We may need her assistance." Aberforth Dumbledore looked down at his brother and shook his head.

_I knew it was a foolish idea to take him out last night and get him drunk. Minerva will kill me if he's not in the garden on time,_ Aberforth thought to himself.

Alastor returned with the pitcher of water and immediately Albus found himself wide awake and sputtering as if he were drowning as his younger brother emptied the pitcher of ice-cold water over his sleeping body. Images from his nightmare were flashing before his eyes as he struggled to catch his breath and make sense of what was happening.

"Aberforth…what's today?" he asked panicked.

"Merlin Albus! It June 25…ring any bells?"

"Alastor, am I really marrying HER today?" he dared to ask.

"Not if you don't get up and get started. She's had Poppy up for hours worrying about today. Maybe you need to send her an owl to reassure her and let her know that you have every intention of being there…now that we've finally got you awake. We've been calling you for ten minutes!"

"Yes, and what the devil were you muttering and sobbing about? The way you were crying into your pillow we thought someone had died!" Albus looked at his brother and started to tell him the horrid dream but felt it best to just let that one lie forever in the dark expanse of sleep…never to be spoken of again.

"It was a nightmare but it's not one that's ever going to come true. I will make sure of that today. Now, floo Poppy and tell her that I'm just fine and then tell her that I am going to send Minerva an owl and that she is to read it immediately." With that, Albus quickly got up from his bed and changed into dry clothes. Sitting down at his desk, he took quill in hand and wrote his beloved an owl.

_My Dearest Minerva,_

_I woke this morning to a brilliant day. The sky is a perfect shade of the palest blue and the clouds adorning it look like fluffy cotton floating lazily about a crystal stream. The sun is shining in all its' glory, warming every blade of grass and every leaf of the trees, which are swaying to a gentle breeze. Birds are singing merrily as if they hadn't a care in the world and everything is perfect. Just as it should be for our wedding day._

_From the first moment I saw you, I knew that you were the most amazing woman I had ever had the privilege of meeting. And as the years went by, I grew to love everything about you from the way you eat your carrots and the elegant way you hold a quill to the way you command attention from your colleagues and the gentle loving side you have allowed me to see. I cannot even begin to fathom my life without you. You are my world and my breath ceases to be my own when you are near. Everything I have or ever hope to possess is yours and I give it freely to you._

_I woke this morning in a large bed, big enough for two and realized that the better part of me is with you…my heart is always with you, where it belongs. I woke as a lonely man but tonight I will go to bed as the richest and luckiest man in the world because I will hold you in my arms. In a few short hours, I will pledge my undying love to you in front of our families and friends but know that as each word tumbles from these lips there are a thousand more words and actions still left for me to share with you and you alone._

_My life began the moment I realized that I loved you and it has grown more and more with each passing day. "I love you" sounds so inadequate, especially today. Just know that I will be waiting with a heart filled with adoration for your arrival in the garden…the place where we first kissed…the place where I proposed…the place where we will pledge our hearts and souls to one another. I will be waiting for you my immortal goddess._

_Forever yours,_

_Albus_

Albus sealed the owl with his bright purple wax and sent Fawkes on his way to deliver the note. For now, he had enough to keep him occupied and he was sure that Minerva was the same way. It was time to start his morning rituals and begin the exciting task of preparing for the most magnificent day of his life. For today was the one he had dreamed of for so long…not the nightmare version where she married another. No, this was the one where he was the man standing at the altar eagerly awaiting his radiant bride…his love…his Minerva. And today was the day they would begin to make all of their dreams come true.

_**Finite**_

**A/N:** Well you've made it this far…how about sending us an owl and tell us how we did? Thanks!


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